When Two Worlds Collide: Lawn care Woes

Good morning all!

     I realized it has been a quick minute since our last update on the farm. To be blunt, this whirlwind never slows down long enough for my head to stop spinning. Still, no regrets!

Now then…as you can imagine, going from 1/3 of an acre to 15 acres is a bit of a leap. In our previous garden home, we actually considered our lawn to be quite sizable, yes…I know, looking back, I feel silly for ever complaining about mowing it.

Looking back, it was around a year to two years ago that our hand-me-down mower, a.k.a. the one that was left in the garage when we purchased the house, had finally had enough and simply called it quits. There was no fixing it, no helping it, it was done. D-o-n-e, done.

Not wishing to be the social pariah of our neighborhood, we were a part of an HoA community mind you, the Mr. did some research into finding a replacement and came to adore the idea of a battery powered electric mower. No more awful gasoline stench in our garage, quiet, and just as quick to mow. Did I mention it was surprisingly cheaper? Seemed a no-brainer, so we went for it.

Now for the final year in our garden home, it was a wonderful addition to our lawn care regime. Fast forward to purchasing our farmhouse fixer-upper and that we’ve moved from that 1/3 of an acre to 15 acres. Let me just express how terribly quickly one gets over mowing when you only have a 28″ wide blade and the average battery life is one hour before needing to be recharged.

The Mr. or I used to spend about an hour cutting the front and back yard at our previous home once a week and presto, done! Now it takes about four days, six hours each day, to get about 5 acres done. Does it help that we’ve been reclaiming our acreage from nature, seeing as it sat untended for 5 years? Nope, not really. So there I am, day after day, me and my electric push mower vs. the mighty Amazon jungle. I say that literally, I believe our grass gets to around 3-4′ tall after two weeks of not mowing.

Just call me Sisyphus as my stubbornness won’t let the acreage get the better of me…but I don’t even have the excuse of blaming Zeus, nope, all my own doing.

Now I will admit, while one sweats into a puddle out in the humid southern heat hour after hour, I’ve never been tanner AND my arms are beginning to really look great. On the flip side, I likely terrify local wildlife as they watch me charge at a run pushing that mower over the 3-4′ tall sections of weeds.

It’s a jungle out there.

My throne.

Now I found that during my hourly breaks, due to the batteries recharging, I needed something to do. It was then that ‘the throne’ came to be. I spend a good deal of time cooling off in the shade with some water, staring with one eye twitching at the bane of my existence, I mean…looking at the lawn mower as the batteries charge inside.

There she is, in all her eco-friendly glory…


But to be fair, I mean…the lawn does look pretty fantastic despite the fact I’m working with the poor man’s Mary of lawn mowers here. So to all of the folks with those lovely tractors, driving mowers, and zero turns…check out my ECO-FRIENDLY (it hurts inside…) and mad ELECTRIC PUSH MOWER skills (…make it stop)!

That being said, I’ve begun filling a mason jar with spare change. One day, I will have my zero turn. Just you wait acreage, your days are numbered!



Lawncare 101: More Harsh Realities

There’s that old saying, “Sometimes you have to break it down before you can build it up again.” At least I think that’s how it goes. Anyway, I think I’ve mentioned how much I love/hate spring time. I mean, I love the growing part and everything getting green and pretty. Everything up to that point I could do without. Like our lawn. Our poor half dead yard at which I’ve been raking and digging and pulling weeds and dead crabgrass  – hence the uh, breaking part.

I mean, there’s been a lot of reseeding too but so far not a lot of results beyond a few sprouts. Out of all the things we’ve invested our money in, the yard has produced the least results. Every time I think I have a handle on things, I get thrown for a loop.

And with everything going on inside, combined with some very crazy spring weather, I have barely even touched the garden. Here it is mid-may and not a single thing has been planted and what weed pulling I’ve been able to do has been very sporadic. I feel a repeat of our first year coming on. img_20170516_125805750-e1494955393109.jpg

Now a few things survived the winter, which thankfully, is pretty mild compared to the midwest winters I grew up with. At this point, maybe I’ll just leave the garden be and focus on the lawn? Hmm… Maybe I just wasn’t meant to be one of those green thumb people? On the list of things I’d gladly hire a pro to handle, my yard is at the very top. Will I get the satisfaction of doing it myself and seeing all my hard work pay off? No. But I’m good with that.

One of these days I’ll have a pretty lawn and a nice garden I swear.. One of these days…

Yardcare 101: A How NOT to Guide.

We’re a bit late getting to the lawn and garden this year. The house has been occupying the majority of our time as we prep the ceiling and the floors. So yesterday while it was a beautiful sunny 65 degrees out, we figured it was the perfect chance.

And then, as per usual, the unexpected happened. So I decided to post this handy dandy guide as a warning to others who might be working on their yards.

Step 1: Have your child dig holes in the yard.

“See, if you dig up the dirt with the baby rake like this, then I can sprinkle grass seed.”
“I’m just going to dig a mine over here like in Minecraft.”
“Okay but don’t dig your hole in the middle of the lawn.”
“But it’s not in the middle. The middle is somewhere over in that area.”
“Okay, you got me there kiddo. How about you don’t dig holes in the lawn at all.  Go dig in the dirt over by the garden area while I rake up the yard to get ready for grass seed.”

Two minutes later…

“I need something to cut and destroy this dead plant.” (as he comes out of the shed with my pruning shears, which, thankfully, are locked in the closed position.)
“Oh no. Not the shears. I’ll take those”
“These aren’t shears. I can’t even open them to cut this dead plant.” (puts the shears back out of frustration of not being able to open them)
“I’ll take care of the dead plant. Would you please go help your daddy?”
“Can I use this to get the plant?” (comes out with the hand weeder)
“Not that either. Now go inside and help your daddy.”

Step 2: Stop working because you found strange things

If I learned anything from Sesame Street, it’s that certain things belong in certain places and some things just don’t belong together at all.  Quietly sings, “Some of these things are not like the others. some of these things just don’t belong.”

On the list of “what I expect to dig up in my garden” are items such as leaves, bugs/worms, sticks, rocks, and roots.
What’s not on that list: shells (thankfully most of them have been small), rusted nails, unusual pieces of wood, concrete, and/or metal.

I’m just…so baffled.

I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll find body parts next. Yikes.

When **** hits the fan: The Septic Tank Experience

To those reading, if you have a property that is set up via a septic tank system…I salute you, for those of you set up through your city’s sewer system will never know the struggle. My initial elation at being freed of a monthly sewer bill by the city has quickly dwindled, though perhaps my first experiences amongst this new adventure has jaded me.

Now then, without further ado…let us begin.

Remember this view? I remind myself daily because this is what everything is for, this lil’ slice of heaven we call home now.


When a house has been sitting unused for some time, it’s important to ensure that the tank is inspected for structural integrity as well as emptied and flushed to rid it of previous build-up. This prevents further complications down the road. See! I’m learning things already! Yesterday I knew nothing about septic systems aside from I never wanted to personally clean one and now I know it must be cleaned every 3-5 years. Two things learned today. #crushingit

Every now and again you have those days where nothing really ‘goes to plan’. Despite your meticulous calculations one little bump creates a ripple effect. I don’t suppose I’ll ever view a skipping stone the same again. Anyhow! I watched the cleaning company drive past our home only to see them return a while later. GPS and our home…they don’t get on too well we’ve found. But they made it! …a couple hours later, but they made it!

They set to work and located our septic tank. To those that have never employed this service for your home…these folks work HARD, and I mean HARD.

Located, dug up, and inspected within 10 minutes! Color me impressed!

In minutes they had the cap dug up and began hooking up their hoses to clean out the system. …and then their truck broke down. …while blocking the driveway.


Let’s just say that I coped via tours of our home, sharing these little gems with friends and family.

(P.S. A good sense of humor can make everything right again.)

Patience is a virtue. I believe this became my mantra over the next three hours as I waited for them to discover the reason behind their vehicle’s breakdown and then repair it. Hats off, once more, …these folks work HARD.

As we hadn’t moved furniture into the house yet, I elected to fold down the back seats in my Ford and take a nap. It was a nice day out and I didn’t really have anywhere else to sit anyhow. I was awoken to the sound of a loud hissing noise as they had the work truck back on its feet and hoses were a go!

A few hours behind schedule but already forgotten as it seemed we were a mere fifteen minutes away from completion. False. Now that the truck was running, the hoses decided to fail at the junctions that clasp multiple hoses together. So I stood in mute horror watching Lord knows how many years of previous refuse pour out onto our patio.

What began as a slight leak became an endless flood of thirty year old refuse…

What began as a small leak began to spread until it reached our lawn. Fare thee well, Bermuda grass. *ensue bagpipes*

They could not turn off the valves to their hoses for fear that they would not turn back on and so they proceeded to “fix” the problem by means of the most backwards solution possible … kicking the leaky connector with the heel of a boot. Naturally, this only furthered the problem as the leak began gushing forth.

I believe it was around this time that I walked away, there are just some things amidst home repair and renovation that one can’t watch. I can tell you that the leaky connector was replaced, that they cleaned off my patio and sprayed the lawn with eco-friendly disinfectants however it was a bit disappointing to see how long it took to get us to that point.

All things said and done, the tank was in good working condition and they were able to fully clean out the entirety of the system. We have a functional septic tank now. That’s right, I can use the bathroom WITHOUT fear. While that is amusing, what wasn’t amusing was the joking mention of an outhouse the Mr. mentioned digging.

No, no, and no. I’ll deal with a day of inconvenience to maintain the ability to use our restrooms.

Lawncare Woes

This is the year I’ll finally get a handle on the yard and the garden. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I may or may not have said the same thing last year.

When we bought this house, the structure itself wasn’t the only thing in need of TLC. Both yard and garden had been left in somewhat of a disarray. It was clear neither had been tended to in a few years, at least not properly anyway. It’s been an uphill battle against overgrowth, weeds, crabgrass, and crappy soil. Just when I think I’m starting to win, nature throws a curveball and I’m left confused and frustrated.

Last year, I excitedly planted both vegetables and herbs, only to have a critter come and promptly eat everything down to the nubs in a few days. The fence I built came too late for the parsley and cilantro. They made a valiant effort to bounce back from their unexpected haircuts but to no avail, both giving up the ghost early in June. We did manage the save the basil and rosemary, and the lawn did decently well until the July heat hit full force.

Being that we were going to spend at least half of August busy with wedding preparations, I let go and gave into the weeds and crabgrass.

I’m getting an early jump on things this year, in the hopes that I’ll finally be able to wrangle this stubborn beast into submission. I spent an hour this afternoon pruning and thinning down the fruit trees in our back yard. Maybe this will be it and things will finally go the way I’ve planned. Those of you seasoned gardeners who can offer any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

Here’s to being cautiously optimistic about the 2017 growing season.